How to find hope again?

Despair is a loss of hope. Often, it appears in a context of refusal, loss of confidence, discouragement. If we let it take hold without trying to push it away, it can lead to depression or melancholy. You may feel overwhelmed, at the end of your rope and you can no longer see the end of the tunnel. Discover in this article the solutions to deal with it.

What is despair?

Despair is a mixture of several emotions and feelings: sadness, loneliness, anger, rebellion. These can lead to feeling other things like melancholy, suicidal thoughts, anxiety. The person may want to isolate themselves, not see anyone and withdraw into themselves. If the situation becomes too intense, it is essential to consult a mental health professional such as a psychologist.

As with any emotion, you must accept it in order to move forward.

Where does despair come from?

Several situations can lead us to feel despair: loss of a loved one, accident leading to disability, breakup, etc. We are in a situation where we do not see any possibility and added to this, a feeling of helplessness. Despair occurs following immense discouragement in the face of the magnitude of the situation, of the task.

Despair manifests itself in several signs:

• Prolonged fatigue;
• Lack of enthusiasm;
• Loss of interest;
• Refusal of social relationships and outings;
• Irritability, anxiety;
• Suicidal thoughts.

How to overcome despair?

You have power over your life and for that, you must act! Several solutions exist to achieve serenity and fulfillment, here they are:

Accept the situation

It's not always easy to accept a negative emotion, we tend to judge ourselves, to be too hard on ourselves. However, it is the first step to finding fulfillment. When a situation, an event happens, we are forced to accept it and live with it. Start by describing the current situation precisely: what event is it? Then, describe your feelings about this situation but also your thoughts and fears. Accepting the situation is not submission or defeat but rather a way of accepting and letting go. By accepting it, its intensity will decrease and you will take things in hand.

Face your fears

Our fears create insecurities, anxieties, questions. Generally, when we are afraid, it is because we are in the future, we worry. It's normal, it happens to everyone. When we feel hopeless, we tend to be afraid of moving forward and not getting through it.

It is true that facing your fears and anxieties is difficult, but it is the key to moving forward! What is stopping you from moving forward? What is behind this fear?

To fix objectives

Start with small goals, there's no point in putting pressure on yourself! The most important thing is to take care of yourself. For example, you can read, paint, sew or even practice physical activity. These different activities allow you to relax your body but also your mind.

Plan outings, go see your friends, your family. Seeing people allows you to feel less alone, to be able to share good times and to find your bearings.

Meditate and breathe

Just 3 minutes is enough to make you feel better! The “I don’t have time” excuse doesn’t work this time. The most important thing is that it will really help you calm and soothe your mind. You will feel more relaxed, more serene and you will be able to fully live the present moment.

Balancing your emotions with Bach Flowers

Several natural solutions exist to find hope, including Bach Flowers. Discovered in the 1930s by an English homeopath, Doctor Bach, these flowers have a higher vibrational state than other plants to respond favorably to difficult emotions.

When a person goes through a period of despair, several stages can be identified, such as giving up, being resigned, or feeling like they have reached their limits and no longer have hope.

To respond to the feelings linked to these stages, we have identified two Bach Flowers which can help you.

Bach Flower No. 13 - Gorse / Gorse: I give up, I am resigned

Bach Flower Gorse helps in the face of a state of despair and resignation, when you have the feeling of giving up and thinking that no one can do anything for you. Gorse is effective in reconnecting with strength and will in the face of difficulties encountered, you are less influenced by your mood and optimism resurfaces.

Its bright, golden yellow petals can appear before the winter solstice and remain in bloom until spring.

Bach Flower No. 30 - Sweet Chestnut: I have reached my limit, I see no hope

It allows us to find light in the face of a situation of despair. For all people who are at their wits' end in the face of a terrible ordeal and who think they will never recover. The ordeal seems insurmountable, the desire to give up is strong but Sweet Chestnut will allow you to accept the situation, to act to see the end of the tunnel and to find hope again!

The chestnut tree is a large tree that can reach up to 35 meters high. Its energy is transmitted from the roots to the tips of its branches in its flowers; male and female kittens. This force and this energy which is transmitted throughout the tree clearly shows that the Sweet Chestnut will push us to find the light and lift our heads out of the dark night.2

Sources

• https://www.cairn.info/revue-le-carnet-psy-2012-9-page-52.htm
• https://developpementpersonnel.org/la-psychotherapie/comment-se-remit-rapidement-des-phases-de-desspérance/
• https://psychotherapie.ooreka.fr/conseil/voir/653915/desspérance
• https://www.ecoute-psy.com/mal-etre/reflexion-sur-le-desspér-et-son-utilite/